Insanity (A Poem)

 

Insane

I don’t want to hear the voices scratching around inside my brain

I’m trying to tear out the thoughts that are driving me insane

And just when I start thinking that life’s feeling calm again 

I split, I sabotage, and my life goes down the drain… 

My brain is itching on the inside

You can’t see the violent war

My conflict bourne of insanity 

I can’t go on like this no more

Insanity is rising

I’m slowly going mad

My impulsivity is destructive 

My behaviour is getting bad

It’s only a matter of time

Before I self implode

How do I put on the brakes

And take a different road

What does self love look like

What does it even mean

When abuse and lies are a normal life

How do I now feel seen

Accepting my own feelings

As valid and respecting who I am

Take baby steps to learn self love

And doing what I can 

Reach out to friends and loved ones

Who have shown they have my back

Turn away from the haters and fakers

And protect from their attacks 

That insanity that was rising

Is starting to simmer down

The life I knew was chaos

But slowly I’m turning it around 

Self acceptance is powerful and probably the key

To letting others love me too

And being the real me 

Acknowledging my darkness

Accepting all my flaws

Allowing myself to feel good

And letting myself have more 

Valuing my presence 

Respecting my boundaries 

No longer caving to overwhelm 

And losing to insanity 

The voices are now silent

There’s peace inside my brain

And I know if I lose control 

I can find my peace again… 

~ Becki Huggins ©️ 2022