Coming Out Fully

 I’ve never been shy about talking about my fluctuating sexuality or gender identity but never fully feeling 100% in some of the labels, until now. I felt fluid in my expression so originally I though non-binary didn’t really fit me until more recently and I got a better idea of what the term actually meant more in the nuances of not relating to to how I feel in my own body. In my mind I feel non gender but my body I recognise as the sex of female. I don’t feel uncomfortable in it per se more akin to being in  a car are with certain traits.

Maybe it doesn’t really matter but the sens of dysphoria I have since a child from projected notions of boys and girls as a big fan of toys traditionally assigned as boys, like he man and transformers I never even thought about playing with them as not a typical girl thing until I was older. I love dolls and my little pony andd Care Bears too, and lots of boys and men and others love them so nowadays I feel more comrtable in myself seeing so many express what I always felt inside. I took my cue from others to help me align and define what I feel inside with my outside expression and *labels* of MY choosing. 

I feel more settled in myself now and today as I changed my pronouns to THEY THEM THEIRS with both masc. fem, and androgynous expressions I think I confidently say I feel HAPPY for the first time in my life in a way that hits DEEP on a soul level. My inner quest to know thyself feels completed in one sense and I am excited for the next stage of my life journey.

Maybe because the soul houses masc fem energies as well as all in between, and I recall fragments from  many past lives in different bodies, male, female, from other worlds even, I see my self as one being over many eons embodying many forms expressed in physical forms so I am no longer so attached to being seen in a way that others who are not yet comfortable in who they are find *appropriate& to their egos - or hiding myself out of fear of not being accepted. 

I am not responsible ultimately for others thoughts and words and actions, only my own and right now I choose to align with here I am at. Whether this changes again in the future or I remain in this cosy good vibe place for the rest of this life time remains to be seen, but for now, p[lease respect where I am at and meet me where I am, and be mindful of how you refer to me. I won’t be offended by mistakes and transphobia holds no weight with me - so if I am intentionally misgendered that’s a them problem not a me one, I will simply dis-engage.   

As non-binary falls under the transgender umbrella I do refer to myself as transgender now too, and feel I finally I have truly understood and met myself in a place I feel really matches my thoughts and feels.

Have as peaceful day folx 

Bex

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